we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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