"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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