This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
