I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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