I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Don't EVER smell your tampon
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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