Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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