just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
These tits shall not be calmed
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize