is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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