i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
