What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
