we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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