So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
