somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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