my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
we should paint friendship bongs
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