Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
