how can u be prego again
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
