Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
