i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The ass gains better be worth it
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