this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I look better un-naked...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
