I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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