But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Randomize
