Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
