Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
jump out the window naked night went bad
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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