He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
