i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
