well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize