please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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