When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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