i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
