Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
