sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
