ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
