I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
