Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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