She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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