Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
