He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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