he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
