Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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