my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
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True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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