Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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