so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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