Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
