You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
