You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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