i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
