oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
