I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
