Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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