Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
