I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
