BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
