Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
