i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
