How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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