I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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