Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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