drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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