did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize
